My husband has bad breath and body odor and always wants intimacy. I feel violated. Good reason to divorce?

He doesn't seem to care when I mention that his hygiene is awful. He smells so bad I am embarrassed and now feel degraded. He also doesn't w...

He doesn't seem to care when I mention that his hygiene is awful. He smells so bad I am embarrassed and now feel degraded. He also doesn't want to work. I am fed up. I am scared to get a divorce because he keeps saying that he will change and if he really does I don't want to make a mistake. I feel that he is now violating my rights as a human being by being so oblivious to my feelings. He says it is because he has bad dental problems, but doesn't do much to remedy the situation.

I will be short and sweet. save up money. Give him an ultimatum. If he does not change out he goes.

also as for changing sounds to me like the little boy who cried wolf

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16 Responses to “My husband has bad breath and body odor and always wants intimacy. I feel violated. Good reason to divorce?”

  1. spacedmanspif says:

    I will be short and sweet. save up money. Give him an ultimatum. If he does not change out he goes.

    also as for changing sounds to me like the little boy who cried wolf
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  2. RauriesMom says:

    Uh no… not a good reason for divorce, a good reason for you to put your darn foot down and tell him to clean the heck up! But not a good reason for divorce. For better or worse, you said it, and he said it. You've made your bed, now lie in it. You can fix this. Just be diligent in telling him he needs to brush his teeth and shower, and go to work. It's going to take a lot of work from YOU, but you have to be willing to see this through. Only someone extremely shallow would divorce for reasons like those. If all you care about is looks and money, I'd be worried if your husband wasn't thinking about divorcing YOU.
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  3. =[] says:

    I noticed that you said "he keeps saying hes going to change" so you must have talked to him about it before. so i would go through with the divorse.Tell him to either go to the curb or get a job.
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  4. Ashley W says:

    Divorce seems too serious. Stop telling and suggesting things. Take action. Offer to wash his back, bring in applications or turn some in and set up interviews. And make it all seem like it was his idea.
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  5. Catwoman says:

    The only mistake would be to waste any more time with someone like this. It's not just that he doesn't care about your feelings or his hygiene is awful. He is living off of you and getting sex from you and not making any effort. Your leaving may wake him up and cause him to change and if not… good riddance!
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  6. Chelsii says:

    This man (or should i say human?), doesn't care about your feelings. If he is making you feel this way, I would say it's a good reason for a divorce. Save up some money and get out. Also, if he keeps saying he's gonna change, and it never happens, more than likely, he's not going to change.

    He obviously doesn't care about either you or himself. For someone to love and care about you, you need someone that will love and take care of himself. Please, take my advice and get out while you can.

    Best of luck to you. =]
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  7. Jenn H says:

    Definitely not a good reason. You married him so you must love him…keep telling him the get cleaned up and take care of his family.
    Give him a time limit to get it straightened out and if he doesn't you will get a divorce. If he loves you at all, he'll get off his butt and do something.

    Best of luck to you!
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  8. gettingby says:

    He needs to see a dentist. If you cannot afford this, check out your area for local clinics/schools that may offer free or low-cost dental care. I would have a major problem with this, too, as the odor would make me sick. For now, tell him to brush and rinse with a good mouthwash. There is no reason you should have to endure this.

    Body odor-another thing to make you sick. He needs to bathe, use deodorant and make sure he wears clean clothing. He should also visit a doctor to see if he has a medical issue.

    I think he should see a doctor regardless….

    He needs to work. He needs to pound the pavement and get those resumes out there. I know it is hard, I am looking myself. But he has to try.

    Is it possible he is depressed or doing drugs? I know this may seem like a stretch, but these are symptoms of depression and addiction. NOT that I am accusing or excusing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The only way he can prove he is going to change is to take the steps to do so.

    I would not be intimate with him if he does not try. That is degrading and disgusting and HIGHLY disrespectful to you.

    Let him show you he is going to change!!!!!!

    Lots of luck to you!
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  9. nikkijean7072 says:

    He hasn't done anything yet he is not going to!!!!! Do you have a friend or family member you can go live with? Tell him you can't live like that anymore! If he wants to change then give him a month or two before you make any decisions. But you can leave anytime your ready!!!
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  10. stephanaie t says:

    If already knows tha the has dental problems…well he sloved his own problem…go to the dentist. Maybe go to see your primary care doctor….maybe he can reccomend something. But to me it's nothing that some stong soap water a strong doe….and some extra steps on his part won't take care of . Good luck
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  11. snowwillow20 says:

    When was the last time he had a physical, he could be suffering from depression or laziness. Keep a can of lysol by the bed andmget a doctors mask. Maybe he will get the idea.
    You can give him an ultimatum, but it probably won't help. Only you will know when you've had enough. He isn't going to change, because he knows you aren't going to leave.
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  12. Cocoa Cake says:

    uh uh, no, divorce him. he won't take u seriously until u do somethin. if ur'e not ready 2 divorce, den just seperate but dats nasty. or, just do like i do and get a side piece of dick to satisfy u
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  13. neonlights1971 says:

    What was he like before you said "I do?"
    I mean, if he was this way prior to getting married, then what would make you think that you would of changed him by saying I DO???
    I agree you made your bed lie in it, its to easy nowadays for people to get divorsed.. people don't take vows serciously at all anymore..
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  14. baldie says:

    give him a choice. tell him to straighten up right now or your out of there.
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  15. averyhogs68 says:

    live with it or do somethine about it
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  16. Twizzle says:

    I am wondering if your husband is aware of his own odor and it is making him lose the confidence to go out and work?

    Before deciding on divorce, if his odor is what is preventing him from getting a job, try something for him that will help it… then if he either doesn't try the stuff, or if it does help him and he still refuses to work, then maybe divorce is your option you will need to take.

    A marriage is a partnership, and if he isn't doing his share, it isn't up to you to make the marriage work… it has to be the two of you. Of course, you should try but it seems like you have been trying… but I am going to give some tips just to see if maybe there is stuff that will help him to get rid of his odors and then you will find out if it was affecting his self-confidence and made him not want to work.

    For the bad breath–if he refuses to go to the dentist maybe try any of these products?:

    if you go down the page there is a stronger product called "periotherapy" I don't know if the regular stuff will help of if his dental problems are so bad he would need something like the periotherapy.

    I just looked around and found they do give some free samples:

    of course going to the dentist is necessary… but again, he might be too embarrassed at this point so MAYBE if a product like these work, he would be more encouraged to work and then go to the dentist…. sorry I can't vouch for the products since I never used them but hopefully it is something you might want to try.

    for body odor… is it his whole body? Does he bathe regularly? if not, obviously he needs to bathe more… if he does..maybe you can try these:

    I found an article with some tips…I'll list ones for body odor:

    * If you have a chronic body odor that never goes away, no matter how much you wash; you may have a bacterial imbalance in your digestive system. Take probiotics and the smell will go away.

    * Apply extra virgin coconut oil to your skin, it kills bacteria.

    * If you are taking any prescription medication, consult your doctor, as some medications may cause body odor, sweating, etc.

    * Spray perfume onto your clothes, and put perfume in the washing machine when you wash them.

    * Dont put on colonge to mask odors it will make it worse.

    * Use Chlorophyll geltabs or Chorophyll liquid from Wild Oats/Whole Foods or health food store. It's in internal deodorizer that minimizes or eliminates body odor.

    * Foods with high sulfur content is a definite culprit for those with body odor problems. Look at websites for listings of foods.

    Here is a link with lots of info you might want to try:

    if when you say he has B.O. and its from excessive sweating from his underarms:

    Here is some info (its from an answer I gave to a similar question a while back)

    there is a product called Certain-dry and Dry Sol which I think you apply only at night maybe for only a few days or maybe a week and its supposed to last for a short while before you apply again… not sure exactly if I am right on how it works.

    there is also a product called Sweat Block that you apply once a week.

    you might be able to use these on other areas of the body like if you have excessive sweating on the hands but I am not sure.

    if your sweating is not controllable by these then there is something called "Drionic" which they have underarm versions or hand/feet versions. You have to do I think 2 half hour sessions and depending on if you do it on low or high you have to do it for 7-8 hours total or double that on low. This is supposed to stop sweating for up to 6 weeks at a time. It stings when you use it but once you are used to it I guess its not that bad by what my uncle told me (he uses it with great success). Your underams will be red when first using it until you get used to it. But once you get through the treatments it will go back normal after some days. My uncle said this is the best thing he has ever tried as it stops his excessive sweating (he even sweat a lot during winter when it was snowing)

    also, if you don't want to go this route and your excessive sweating is on your underarms, there are underarm guards you can place on your clothing that absorb the sweat and prevent those armpit wet circles some people get.

    there is

    it says its not see-thru but if you are wearing a t-shirt you can see "something" there… they may not know its the underarm pads… but you can always wear a very thin undershirt with the sweat pad attached then your regular t-shirt or any other top over that.

    and these:
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